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  • Essay / Amir's quest for salvation in "The Kite Runner"

    “There is a way to be good again” (Hosseini 2). Rahim Khan's first words to Amir in Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner sparked Amir's attempt to repair his scarred past. A mentally tormented man until Khan's call, he repressed memories of his childhood for decades. His journey to Afghanistan to seek redemption is a way for him to realize what is truly important in life. Although Amir's unintentional barbarity toward Hassan is terrible, he is able to overcome his past sins and achieve personal salvation by confronting his actions and doing good. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Amir is an ordinary boy and although his behavior harms Hassan, he is neither cruel nor sadistic. Rather, his evil actions take a more benign form, disguised as a need to please his father. For example, as he prepares to participate in the annual Kabul kite-flying competition, he declares to himself that he will “roll this last kite…and show it to Baba.” Show him once and for all that his son was worthy of it” (Hosseini 56). Amir's motivation for entering the competition is not to gain recognition or fame among his peers. Rather, his goal is to convince his father, who constantly reminds Amir that he is not worthy of affection. Only a display of physical skill, he reasons, will enable Baba to appreciate him. Similarly, when he observes Assef brutally raping Hassan, Amir refuses to intervene, instead rationalizing that Hassan was simply "the price I had to pay, the lamb I had to kill to win Baba" (Hosseini 77 ). Amir refuses to stop Assef's violation of Hassan because he realizes that Hassan's fate is irrelevant to whether or not Baba will praise his son. Baba will not discover Amir's cowardly behavior, and he will still receive Baba's praise and recognition. In fact, Amir "does not enjoy sharing his father's affections with the loyal and talented Hassan" and actually views Hassan's rape as an opportunity to become closer to his father ("Khaled"). If Hassan, humiliated and ashamed by this brutal act, cannot bear to face or talk to other people, Amir will eliminate a former competitor to win his father's affection. Caught in an emotional moment, Amir's only thought is to get praise from his dear Baba. In doing so, he commits the greatest crime of his young life. However, Amir is not intentionally malicious towards Hassan, which is why he later feels guilty. After finally celebrating his victory in the kite flying competition in Jalalabad with his dear Baba, Amir realizes that he is a “monster” (Hosseini 86). Amir fully understands the enormity of what he has done: he has committed an almost unforgivable sin against Hassan, born of a childish and selfish desire to win Baba's favor. However, instead of cowering in shame and blaming others or cursing fate, he accepts full responsibility for his actions. Amir reveals that he is otherwise a good person, as he possesses a conscience and a sense of guilt. In fact, as Amir points out, the real danger that arises from his actions is “the nature of my new curse: I was going to escape” (Hosseini 86). What hurts him the most is realizing that there is no going back. No one would find out what he had done. Secretly, Amir wishes someone would find out and expose him for his true nature. He cannot bear to live with the secret of his shameful act, but cannot bring himself to face it. GOODlet him know that no one will expose him, he tries to repair the wrong he has done. Despite his good intentions, Amir's attempt to hide his evil leads him to commit even more offenses. When he first speaks to Hassan after the rape, Amir throws a grenade at him and wishes Hassan would retaliate and "give me the punishment I craved, so maybe I would finally sleep at night" (Hosseini 92). Amir knows the magnitude of the crime he has committed and foolishly thinks that if Hassan retaliates, the retaliation will somehow lessen the seriousness of his action. Amir begins to hurt others while trying to make up for what he did. His twisted logic is taken to the extreme when he decides that the only way to fully resolve the problem he has created is to remove Hassan from the house: "To better hide his own secret sin, Amir betrays Hassan a second time , which caused Hassan to leave the relative paradise and security of Baba's house” (Morace). Ironically, the very thing that Amir wanted so much (winning the kite flying competition), the very thing that ultimately earned him the praise of his dear Baba, is now the thing that is figuratively tearing him apart. Hassan's mere presence is a constant reminder of Amir's shame and guilt, a dark shadow that persists to haunt him. Hassan's unwavering loyalty, despite Amir's terrible betrayal, is even worse. Hassan's naivety and devotion emphasize his purity and natural goodness, a stark contrast to the emotionally tortured Amir. Therefore, when committing his second betrayal, Amir can only think of himself. He never considers the effect of his actions on Hassan or Ali. Unfortunately, as the web of lies and deception thickens, Amir's behavior worsens. For example, after Baba confronted Hassan about "stealing" Amir's watch, Amir almost blurted out the truth, "except part of me was happy." Glad this will all be over soon” (Hosseini 105). Amir's selfishness and short-sightedness have now become his defining traits, causing more havoc than he could have imagined. He is actually able to describe his terrible betrayal of Hassan as an ordeal to himself, a burden he would be relieved to rid himself of. Amir begins to stop feeling emotions towards others, replacing those feelings for them with his own distorted view of reality. He went from an ordinary boy to a boy who uses a distorted view of others to inflict pain on them. When he finally fully recognizes the extent of his betrayal and sins, Amir is shocked by the pain he has caused others. As a result, Amir tirelessly tries to escape his betrayal of his former friend, but fails. However, in his desperate quest for escape, he discovers the healing power of confronting the past. Soon, the Soviets invade Afghanistan and force Amir and his father to flee to America, a place that Amir "adopted" because it contained "no ghosts, no memories, and no sins" (Hosseini 136). . Amir assumes that by physically distancing himself from his past, he can finally be at peace with it. He welcomes America because it's a place where he won't need to summon the courage to face what he did to Hassan. He is, as Stella Algoo-Baksh notes, “convinced that his soul can be at peace now that he has put his past behind him. Again . . . Amir soon discovers that such liberation is not easy to achieve” (143). Even if he doesn't think about it, his past still lurks deep in his mind, haunting him, mocking his cowardice. Ironically, it is in America that Amir learns his first lesson about remembering the past. His wife, Soraya,had a shameful story too, but she immediately came out and told him about it, and for that he “ envied her .” His secret was revealed. Speak. Treatise” (Hosseini 165). Amir admires the way Soraya frees herself by revealing her past. She likes knowing that people accept her as she is, even with her faults and past mistakes. However, Amir refuses to acknowledge his past and lives in constant fear that those he loves will reject him upon learning of what he has done. Despite this important realization, Amir is reluctant to confront his past because he is still afraid that others will criticize him. It is only under the encouragement of a close friend, Rahim Khan, that Amir finally finds the strength to confront his past. At the beginning, when Khan calls to ask Amir to return to Afghanistan, Amir regrets that “Rahim Khan didn’t call me. I would have liked him to let me live in my oblivion” (Hosseini 226). This statement is the final fragment of Amir's crumbling resistance to his past. Although Amir verbally expressed his dismay at Khan's call, he secretly hoped that this moment would come. He realizes that it is impossible to forget his past and actually wishes that someone would push him into action and give him the courage to confront his past misdeeds. The deciding factor is secrecy. Now that someone already knows what he did, Amir can approach his story without fear that his past actions will then be discovered. Essentially, he is freed from the threat of further shame because his secret is already known. Later, while returning to Pakistan to meet Khan, Amir learns that Baba was Hassan's father and is shocked by his father's behavior. However, as Khan notes, the good that Baba did in his life “was his way of redeeming himself. And that, I believe, is what true redemption is, Amir Jan, when guilt leads to good” (Hosseini 302). Amir recognizes that Baba did not hide in the shame of his past; instead, he attempted to right his wrongs by building orphanages and helping society. Amir observes that he himself did the exact opposite: he simply took his shame out on the same people he had already hurt. Only by righting his past can he atone for his sins; forgetting will achieve nothing. And so Amir leaves for Afghanistan, a journey that Geraldine Pearson describes as "a way for Amir to deal with his own guilt over Hassan and which ultimately forms a story of redemption and resolution" (66). He returns not only to end his own denial and guilt and atone for his sins, but also for the sins of his father. His father committed the crime that brought Hassan into the world. Saving Hassan's son, Sohrab, will provide a solution to this problem that his father started and Amir exacerbated. Amir is determined to finally face his past and leaves for Afghanistan, determined to right the wrong. Subsequently, his new knowledge and his determination to right his wrongs give him new strength, both physically and mentally. Later, as Amir's teeth shatter, ribs break, and skin tears from Assef's violent beatings, Amir feels strangely calm and serene: “I felt at peace. . . . My body was broken. . . but I felt healed. Finally cured” (Hosseini 289). Amir doesn't care about Assef's beatings because they are weak to him compared to the personal fulfillment he found in redeeming himself by saving Sohrab. He knows that now, just like his father, he has done service to help right his past wrongs. Assef's blows pale in comparison to the weight of decades of shame, guilt and lies lifted from Amir's shoulders. Likewise, after Amir brought Sohrab to America and Sohrab gave him a>.