If we want to effectively manage the anger of others in a way that resolves the problem and maintains the relationship, we must employ certain key strategies and behaviors. The best (“emotionally intelligent”) approach involves a combination of communication and problem-solving strategies. This de-escalation process also involves certain steps that must be followed sequentially. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Safety First. If you are confronted with someone whose anger is out of control, first take steps to protect yourself from potential violence (leave, go to a safe place, wait until your spouse is sober, etc.). Often a “waiting period” reduces the level of hostility. If you stay in an unstable situation, it can escalate into violence, so the most rational thing to do, if possible, is to simply walk away. This is not to say that you should never confront someone just because it would result in a conflict situation. However, you need to know how you are going to handle this conflict. Evaluate the person you are facing and be prepared to protect yourself, especially if it is a stranger. Defuse. To help defuse the situation, experiment with the following three steps: Look for the unmet need. Ask the angry person, “Why are you angry with me?” » and listen for unmet expectations or needs. (Anger always implies a frustrated need or expectation). The first step to defusing anger is to clarify that you understand what caused it. One of the best ways to do this is to paraphrase the situation by describing the person as angry, without the anger. So a parent might say to an angry teenager, “Let me make sure I understand you. Are you saying you're upset because I asked you to choose between the school trip to Rajasthan and the rural camp? This type of feedback clarifies the main reason for the anger, setting aside clutter such as fumes about "You always..." and "You never...", and "I wish I was. ..”. Once these elements are resolved, the problem becomes more real-world. Empathy is the key word in this process. Make a sincere effort to look at the situation through the angry person's eyes. Suspend all judgment. Be careful not to appear impatient or condescending. Here are some effective de-escalators: “I can understand your frustration…” – “I can certainly see why this would bother you…” – “I know how annoying this can be…” – “I know what you mean; This happened to me, and it can be very upsetting. "Keep in mind: This is just a sample. Get a personalized essay from our expert writers now. Get a custom essay Besides empathy, you can also use sympathy: "I'm sorry you had a problem…” – “I’m sorry this bothered you…” – “I’m sorry to hear that…”