A while ago I was asked a question by a man who sincerely wanted his wife to feel more secure in their marriage. (He had treated her abusively and showed the fruit of true repentance - that is, he had learned from his wrongs and turned to God to learn and apply new ways of behave.) As happens in many marriages, not that we hear it much, there is abuse, and statistics tell us that 85% of abuse is perpetrated by husbands. Many wives are victims of abuse, and much of this abuse is invisible, such as verbal, psychological, emotional, financial and neglect. This article focuses on abuse of wives, the 85%, not abuse of husbands (15%), which I will talk about another time. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essayAt the center of the abuse is a husband driven by insecurity and a need for control. Any man worth his salt will testify to these urges, but not everyone succumbs to them. At the heart of every person is the need to feel safe, but safety and security needs are high among women. For a woman, this need for security is most deeply satisfied in the way her husband provides her with holistic care, loving her by unequivocally respecting her right to her mental and emotional well-being, ensuring that he does not obstruct it, accepting that it is his domain. , to which he adds his proactive support. Simply put, it meets their security needs by making them feel safe. What does this mean? He doesn't control her in any way, and his wife is the arbiter on this. If she feels controlled, she knows it and she doesn't feel safe. She has the power to call him that. And he listens with humility and corrects his behavior. He monitors how he interacts with his wife and is careful not to behave in a way that makes her anxious. (This assumes he is interested and curious enough to know what is making her anxious.) When his behavior provokes her anxiety, he quickly recognizes his wrongdoing and repents for it. He manages his anger, knowing that annoyance, frustration, and irritation are the things he feels. His wife experiences much more threatening emotions, such as fear, intimidation, and diminishing personality. It recognizes that there are marked differences in the way gender roles are played out; that his fear outweighs his frustration. Although he hates being frustrated and annoyed, he hates contributing further to her feeling fearful. He understands the privilege and power he has by simply being a man in this world. It is a journey for a man to come to this understanding, because he has never been a woman. But understanding gender privilege and the power that comes with it, he has a choice: strip himself of his power and empower those around him, especially the girls and women in his life. He takes his responsibility seriously, is not quick to blame his wife for anything, and willingly removes the log from his eye in times of conflict (Matthew 7:1-5). And when he hesitates, he apologizes quickly and sincerely. [1] It is committed to resolving conflicts peacefully. He learns when he can ignore an infraction, engages in reconciliation and negotiation, and takes responsibility for himself. He gives her permission to do what she feels called or obligated to do, knowing that she shouldn't have to get his permission. He is her cheerleader. She has the..