Healthy family relationships depend on healthy communications. “Good communication contributes to the smooth functioning of a family and prevents misunderstandings from degenerating into conflicts or being buried without being resolved. » (Feiden, 68) There are many ways and times to practice and teach good communication to children. It is often the case that without good communication, the parent-child relationship suffers and sometimes ends abruptly. Allen Schwartz, Ph.D., says he knows of "many cases where children are raised in an atmosphere of dark secrecy about both the matriarchal and patriarchal aspects of their families." They grow up feeling like something is wrong, but they are afraid to talk about it with their parents. (5) Most people grew up with family secrets, but some secrets can destroy a family. Hiding the secret(s) provides an excuse to limit self-disclosure and negatively impacts self-esteem. When these become extremely limited or negative, the risks of separation and possible end of the relationship increase. The end of the relationship could mean that the parent and child no longer speak to each other or are forcibly separated for their own health in extreme cases. Unfortunately, “emotional health can be passed down from generation to generation as easily as abuse and dysfunction” (Bloch, 7), making these communication dysfunctions an ongoing process. Sturges writes that “children will learn to communicate with the world based largely on how they learned to communicate with their parents. (31) Children often learn their communication behaviors not only from what we say but also from our actions. For example, if you tell your child that he can talk to you about anything, but you... middle of paper... on his mind. It is important that the parent respects their wishes and lets them know that they will be available when the child is ready to talk and that you will not be judgmental. Let the child tell the whole story before interceding with your thoughts. There are also cases where the child will not want your opinion; they just want you to listen to their problems. It can be difficult to know whether the child wants your opinion or your ears, but if you actively listen, you will know what he wants. Remember that good communication is at the heart of everything you do in life. Without good communication skills, things won't get done properly and could damage relationships. Learning these communication skills begins at home from the moment a child is born and should continue into adulthood and for the rest of their life..