For much of the novel, Isobel drifts through life intensely believing that the key to her happiness is belonging - that if she is part of a crowd, if accepted, she will be "normal", and it is on this goal that she focuses much of her energy. This desperation to belong manifests itself in many sincere efforts: her deep concern for social propriety, her determination to be liked and accepted in the boarding house, her determination to be part of the university crowd, and, later, in her passive participation to casual sex. activity. However, as her attempts at assimilation continually fail, she gradually develops the resilience necessary to survive on her own. By finally confronting her past and resurrecting the lost part of herself, she gains the freedom to be satisfied with herself and less concerned about the acceptance of others. Although, on behalf of Isobel, I may suggest that the strongest human desire is to belong, it concludes with the message that true contentment lies in self-acceptance – in a sense, belonging to yourself. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on 'Why violent video games should not be banned'?Get the original essayIsobel is filled with an acute sense of 'nostalgia and a sense of exile', stemming from an inculcated belief in childhood that she is not "real", and not a "member of the human race". As a child, Isobel finds herself perpetually an outsider in the family, outnumbered by the alliance of Margaret and Mrs. Callaghan, who share "contemptuous and knowing glances" towards each other, enjoying "well-known jokes » at the expense of Isobel. Similarly, after the death of her mother, Isobel sets out on her own in her own life, while Margaret lives with Aunt Yvonne, a new family dynamic perfectly encapsulated in the image of Margaret and Yvonne sitting together in the taxi "like a mother and her daughter” while Isobel sits next to the driver, distinct from the comfortable, loving relationship in the back seat. As she grows older and experiences new social situations, Isobel finds herself unable to understand the informal interaction of young people, wondering in awe, "Was that a dialogue?" Were they in a play? and reflects that "people spoke poetry", millions of different secret languages ​​filled with euphemisms, metaphors and references that Isobel simply cannot understand, building an impenetrable barrier that cuts her off from all interaction. She soon discovers that the workplace is "like school, so bearable, but disappointing", leaving her once again distinctly separated from the people around her. Even with Aunt Noelene, the conversation is often awkward – there is no real closeness, and both are "relieved when the phone rings" and breaks the uncomfortable silence. This feeling of being closed off and isolated, of being obviously abnormal, causes Isobel to strive to be accepted in whatever environment she finds herself in, declaring to Frank that all she wants in life is is “to be part of the crowd” and to live according to the “eleventh commandment”: “You shall not be different”. Hoping to achieve this goal of conformity, Isobel constantly worries about social propriety, always stopping to check herself and think about what "proper behavior" would be, chastising herself for blindly overstepping convention and s firmly ordering: “good behavior first”. However, this deep concern for conformity to social conventions leads him to find himselftrapped in a position of obedient passivity from which she cannot escape. She becomes a sort of “pet” for Mrs Bowers, with “a constant offer of a cup of tea which she did not know how to refuse”. Additionally, while finding herself in environments whose conventions she does not understand, Isobel's attempts to remain socially correct invariably fail, leading Olive to reprimand her for inappropriate behavior in the workplace. "It's really not good that you're so familiar with Frank," Olive said, "...and if you didn't make so much fun of Mr. Richard...These things are more important than you think. These comments leave Isobel confused and disjointed, constantly wondering what she did wrong. She "wishes to know where she went wrong" and is unable to understand her mistakes, but she has no guidelines, no one. to explain to her the rules of social propriety Inherently lacking the ability to perceive and understand the unspoken rules of society, Isobel is never truly able to belong there as she begins her new life at the boarding house. , Isobel's desperation to be accepted and cherished is revealed not only in her desperation to be noticed by the younger boarders, but unconsciously in her determination to be Mrs. Bowers' "favorite child", striving for a new family dynamic in which she is included and loved. Isobel is “delighted to be included in the games the young people played” as she participates in playful banter with Norman, intensely flustered with happiness (“excitement…making a fool of himself”) even at the slightest burst of attention. Being noticed allows Isobel to believe for a moment that she is normal and that she interacts with boys in the casual, confident way that she sees other girls do. However, when her attempts at flirtatious teasing prove harsher than she would have liked, Isobel realizes that she simply doesn't know how to play this game properly. Finding Norman's gaze "fixed on her, tense and dull with hatred" is something of a turning point in Isobel's attitude towards the boarding house - she realizes that she will never truly belong there and, perhaps to prove the point, from there , she finds “no sympathy anywhere.” The residents become increasingly "hostile" towards her, a cruelty that Isobel describes as "the kind of bitch I hate the most". However, even though Isobel knows she doesn't belong, she can't understand what she did wrong. “That’s when I worry,” she laments, “when people don’t like me and I don’t know why.” The child in Isobel, the "idiot in the attic" who "played her games with the real world...behind Isobel's back" uses the pension as a chance to compensate for always being the victim in the house Callaghan, unconsciously striving to be Mrs. Bowers' favorite child. Her “yearning” for Mrs. Bowers reflects her intense need to belong to a family, a longing for the mother she never had. Despite her desperate attempts to suppress it, this need remained with her, constantly hidden in the back of her mind and weighing her down, expressed concisely in Isobel's mind through the syllogism "The idiot wants a mother." A fool can't have one,” ending with the weary conclusion: “Life is very difficult. » Isobel reflects: “You left home thinking of freedom… but you didn't continue, you went back. Fight the old fight and win this time...be the favorite child. By taking the place of Madge, Mrs. Bowers' real daughter, Isobel has unknowingly done what she could never achieve as a child, but she realizesnow that being the favorite is not a better position - it is not love, it is not closeness, nor even a feeling of true belonging; she simply plays the role of a gentle and obedient “pet,” accepted not for who she is but for her respectful passivity. Realizing this, Isobel abandons her efforts to belong to this surrogate family, ultimately defying Mrs. Bowers by helping Madge and thus exacerbating her dislocation in the household. Isobel is clearly isolated but no longer cares; she doesn't even try to belong here anymore. When Isobel meets the college crowd, she is fascinated by their intelligence and what she sees as the wonderful freedom and sophistication of their existence, and is determined to be one of them. She looks at them longingly, thinking wistfully “this was living the way she wanted to know.” Did they know how lucky they were? When she finds the courage to approach them, Isobel quickly becomes "intoxicated by their attention", feeling "really alive now". Her desperation to be accepted is evident as she imperatively tells herself, "she has to entertain, she has to succeed," and she is willing to "offer whatever makes them laugh," even if it means using Mrs. Bowers, who at this point, she offered Isobel only kindness and compassion, as an object of ridicule, believing that "making them laugh might make her acceptable". However, Isobel gradually realizes that "no matter how willingly they accepted it", the overwhelming feeling of being "somehow disqualified, never to truly be one of them" remains. Although she is welcomed friendly into the group, is she allowed to sit with them in the cafe? and follow them everywhere - there is no real evidence of any warmth or connection between her and them. Even with Trevor, while the reader can see from his special attention to her that he is interested in her, Isobel is incapable of truly engaging in friendship - she remains too guarded to really imbue the distance that separates them. Isobel only consciously realizes the awkward extent of this distance when Trevor attempts to transform their relationship into a romantic one. As she frantically struggles to escape his embrace, "it was her body that fought, not her", and although she later contemplates the "vanished prospect of being Trevor's girlfriend", d To belong somewhere, she instinctively knows that sacrificing her own integrity and sense of belonging for the sake of conformity is not possible. “She was who she was and nothing could change her, so you better get it over with,” because no matter how much she pretends to be someone else, “in the end, you would resurrect yourself.” Isobel finally abandons her ambition to belong to the group, recognizing with resignation that "she had no place with them, even if they had not excluded her", reflecting her instinctive feeling of the impossibility of conformity . Isobel's search for belonging later manifests itself in her involvement in meaningless sexual activity with virtual strangers, striving to behave like "normal" young people so that she too can become normal, accepted. When Michael fiercely asks her why she "does things like that," Isobel is forced to think about what she's doing. She notes about herself that "you like to join the human race at the only level you can manage...by enacting" what she perceives as normal behavior. However, going through the motions doesn't make her like everyone else: even though she tries to adapt to social norms, Isobel never really fits in in that kind of situation...