Repairing Relationships My latest Netflix obsession has been The Crown, with the first season premiering this past weekend. There is an intense and unique dynamic between Queen Elizabeth and her husband, Prince Philip, due to the great power disparity in their relationship. The Queen is considered the highest ranking official in the Church of England, while Prince Philip did not gain his full title until years after he married into the royal family. He is also preceded by his son Prince Charles, heir to the throne, a detail which annoys him throughout the series. The show begins at the start of the Queen's reign, a time when traditional weddings were the only thing. Prince Philip's relative lack of power in the relationship becomes the crux of their relationship difficulties as he becomes increasingly insecure. In a time when men were the undisputed rulers of the family, this unconventional relationship continues to cause conflict in many different circumstances. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Philip appears to alternate between supporting the young monarch and displaying bitter resentment. Various aspects of protocol continued to upset the prince, such as having to walk behind the queen rather than beside her, and the fact that the English government prevented him from passing on his surname to his children. It is later revealed that Prince Philip had a very harsh upbringing and appears to cling to his ideals of masculinity to help define him. His father was exiled from his native country when Philip was just a year old, while his mother was interned in Germany. He has become the man he is and his lack of influence in the relationship makes him feel restless and helpless. One of the biggest conflicts early in their marriage was whether or not he would kneel to the Queen at her coronation. He was adamantly opposed to the idea, but he still had to kneel in front of his wife during live television broadcasts across the country. Time and again, Prince Philip realized how little power he wielded. Power refers to an individual's ability to exert control over others and influence their actions. A central concept of this power is dominance, which is the expression of power through the act of maintaining influence over your relationship partner. Guerrero, Andersen, and Afifi argue that people considered "interpersonally dominant tend to possess at least some combination of the following characteristics: poise, panache, self-confidence, and the ability to control the conversation." » (GAA, p. 316). Self-confidence is linked to an individual's qualities of focus, drive and leadership, all of which the Queen possesses. As the reigning sovereign of England, Queen Elizabeth has undergone extensive training to demonstrate composure under duress in all manner of situations. From the age of ten, she received formal training to maintain her composure and learn to control conversations. The Queen of England is a powerful figure who must be seen as perfectly disciplined at all times, otherwise the illusion will be shattered for the British people. Conversation control “refers to an individual's ability to manage a conversation by doing things such as controlling who speaks and how long the interaction will last” (GAA, p. 317). One specific example is particularly relevant: the buzzer that the Queen uses for her meetings. Most meetings of thequeen with important social and political figures, such as the Prime Minister or another member of the royal family, were held in the same room. First, she would hold out her hand and they would bow their heads and kiss the back of her hand in deference. Then everyone else in the room would wait until the queen was seated before sitting down themselves. So Queen Elizabeth starts every interaction with complete control of the situation. When she decided the meeting was over, she pressed the buzzer on the table next to her, which alerted the doorman to send it to the next person. They open the doors and the Queen stands up, a clear message that the meeting is over. Queen Elizabeth's royal status gives her clear objective power over the citizens of her country, including Prince Philip. Although people with objective power may fail to influence others if they are not perceived as powerful, the Queen asserts her dominance quite thoroughly. “People who use cues of power and act powerfully tend to be perceived as powerful” (GAA, p. 317) and that is exactly what Queen Elizabeth does. Using her buzzer to end a meeting is a distinct power signal, but she also displays other power signals in her relationship with the Prince. Unfortunately, "excessive power or frequent power plays often cripple close relationships" (GAA, p. 322) due to the fact that "few people enjoy being dominated or manipulated and often respond to power plays with resistance, stubbornness and defiance” (GAA, p. 322). Prince Philip has demonstrated all of these qualities since the marriage began, with his resistance to showing deference to his wife, as well as directly defying her orders by going on lavish excursions with members of a lunch club for men. Stubbornness already seems to be an integral part of his personality, but the power imbalance in the relationship surely hasn't helped. Queen Elizabeth has always been willing to rely on the crown as a form of power play, citing it as the ultimate reason behind many of her decisions. Later in the second season, they argue fiercely over which school Prince Charles should attend. Prince Philip thinks his son should attend the same boarding school he went to as a child, while the Queen knows her son is too sensitive to thrive in such a difficult environment. However, they had both reached a compromise a few years earlier on the question of who would decide where the children would be educated. Since the Queen already has a lot of power in the relationship, she agreed to let Philip decide where the royal children went to school. When she attempted to back out of this contract while using her authority as a power play, Philip became absolutely furious and negative reciprocity ensued. The couple traditionally used the competitive fighting style of communication, where each of them tried "to control the interaction in order to have more power than their partner" (GAA, p. 291), which resulted in an argument even more intense due to negative reciprocity. When “one person uses competitive or indirect combat, the other person is likely to follow suit” (GAA, p. 291). This is exactly what happened in this scenario. A defining trait of the relationship between the queen and the prince is contempt. Showing contempt toward your partner “is one of the most destructive forms of communication that can occur in a relationship” (GAA, p. 304) and “is often the byproduct of long-standing problems in a relationship”.