Which means she has to do a love marriage before a specific date, otherwise she gets demoted or loses her job. Or she has to save someone before they are killed or the cure is lost. Right now, there are simply too many scenarios, but no clear goal or objective. This results in a fragmented structure. Remember a major goal and show Mary that she is pursuing that goal. Also be sure to define what is at stake or at risk for Mary if she does not achieve her goal. For example, if she can't save a doctor, everyone will die of cancer (only a suggestion). If she fails to form a romantic relationship, this person will live alone and Mary will feel like a failure. Make it clear that if Mary doesn't meet her goal, she could be fired, demoted, injured, etc. Credibility is a concern. As noted, it's hard to really understand how blowing things up makes people happy, how it makes them fall in love, and how blowing things up fixes everything. This doesn't seem credible. The ending with Mary becoming President of the United States and being the cure for cancer, once again, is unfortunately not convincing. The story needs more