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  • Essay / The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Discussion

    In the video, 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work, many ideas were shared regarding happy marriages and the research surrounding them. The seven principles include: 1) improving your love cards, 2) nurturing your affection and admiration, 3) turning toward each other, 4) letting your partner influence you, 5) solving your solvable problems, 6) overcome impasses, 7) create shared meaning. The first principle states that it is important to know what your partner likes, as well as their hopes and aspirations. The second principle is undoubtedly the most important. Showing appreciation is an easy way to nurture affection and admiration. The third principle means that happy couples show care for each other and engage in small acts of connection, such as a phone call during the day. The fourth, let your partner influence you, shows that for a marriage to work, the couple must work as a team and make decisions together. It's important to hear your partner's point of view and really listen to them. The fifth principle is quite self-explanatory. This simply means that partners must actually work on their small problems rather than avoiding them. Breaking out of the impasse, as the sixth principle states, means accepting and adapting to perpetual problems. These issues constitute major personality differences that are unlikely to be resolved. The advice given is to accept and adapt, as well as respect your partner's dreams and beliefs. The final principle, creating shared meaning, explains the importance of creating rituals of connection and working toward a common goal. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essay Many of the principles described in the video are also used in Com 102, Interpersonal Communications. For example, we discussed that love requires maintenance. The concept of maintaining a relationship is similar to the principles of making marriage work. The second principle, nurturing your affection and admiration, applies directly to relationship maintenance strategies. Relationship maintenance strategies include positivity, reassurances, task sharing, acceptance, self-disclosure, relationship discussions, and social networking. In the Second Principle video this concept was shown. Positivity was one of the most important things. If couples had a positive outlook on their past, then they were more likely to have a happy marriage and a bright future. Assurances were also shown in the video as a thank you for your partner's good characteristics. All of these principles, in the video as well as the course, can be used to improve my life. I now know the strategies I can and should use to have a great relationship. Just watching this video has opened my mind in such a way that I now have a better perspective on what it means to be in a relationship. Marriage, in particular, is not easy and takes work. John M. Gottman truly touched my heart and mind with his wisdom.