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  • Essay / Language and the path to conversion

    In the Confessions of Saint Augustine, language was necessary on Augustine's path to conversion, but also led him to deviate from the same path. By being able to speak and read, Augustine discovered God for the first time, while his final conversion in the garden of Milan involved hearing a child singing and reading a passage from the Bible. However, on his path to God, language presented a trap for Augustine, because at first he was unable to get past the physical words of the Bible which were only representations of God. This raises the question of how language can be both helpful and harmful when trying to understand God. Language is necessary on the path to conversion, but the use of external words must be combined with internal perception through self-discovery in order to overcome the obstacles that language presents. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essayLanguage was a necessary factor in Augustine's path to conversion. Through language, Augustine was able to enter “the stormy society of human life” (Augustine 11) and learn about God from other humans and from books. Learning to speak allowed him to interact with humans and develop faith by following the example of those around him. As a young boy, Augustine already believed in God, as did his mother and most of the members of his household (Augustine 14). He was able to develop this first foundation for living a faithful life through interaction with others. The language also allowed Augustine to read the Bible. At this point, the same factor that had led Augustine to God led him astray. His focus on language, rather than the internal meaning of the Bible, led him to be drawn to the Manichaeans and the way they spoke about God. Augustine lacked internal perception, something necessary to understand God, which is why language became an obstacle on his path to conversion. Although language was necessary for Augustine to know God, it was also an obstacle because language is merely representational. When Augustine first read the Bible, he was unable to look beyond the physical words on the page. He thought the Bible was unworthy compared to the works of Cicero and noted that "its exaggerated vanity avoided the restraint of the Bible and that [his] gaze never penetrated its interior" (Augustine 40). Augustine was dissatisfied with the Bible because he thought the words on the pages were too simple for him, when in reality he was too concerned with the words rather than their meaning. The problem with language is that it is intrinsically distancing, because it is only a representation of something. For Augustine, this meant that taking the Bible literally when first reading it distanced him from God. Similar to when Augustine learned to speak and use words as signs of his wishes (Augustine 11), the Bible is a representation or “sign” of God. The words are not the actual wishes they describe, just as the Bible is not actually God. Augustine was dissatisfied with his first reading of the Bible because he was unable to look beyond words that were only representative of God. Language is also harmful because it can hide the fact that something is devoid of truth. Augustine once again distanced himself from God through language by trying to understand God through the Manichaeans. He was attracted to the Manichaeans for their "fine language, very earthly and talkative", and it was only much later that he realized that their hearts were empty of truth(Augustine 40). Although the words that came out of their mouths seemed good to Augustine, they only masked the Manichaeans' poor understanding of God. Their words represented something false and were a trap for Augustine, who at the time did not know that they were distorting God. Language as an obstacle to imitating God became more evident with the arrival of Faustus, known as "a great snare of the devil" because of his sweet speech (Augustine 73). It is interesting to note that Faustus' use of language is here compared to the devil, because the Manicheans' use of language is something that distanced Augustine from God. Faustus is considered one of the most respectable Manichaeans, but it is his fanciful words that earn him this reputation, not his understanding of God. Even when words are truly representative of God, language alone is not enough to understand Him. To imitate God, we must turn inward, but language is external, so we must reconcile the two. Augustine saw Ambroise reconciling both the inside and the outside when he saw him reading in silence. When Ambrose read, “his eyes scanned the page and his heart perceived its meaning, but his voice and his tongue remained silent” (Augustine 92). Ambrose still processed the words on the page, but it was his heart that allowed him to understand God. His silence showed that the physical words on the page were not the most important aspect of what he was reading. Since words are representative, they are not enough to achieve a full understanding of God. Ambrose's eyes are what saw the external, the words representing God, but it was his heart that was able to go beyond the representation and feel what was internal, namely God. Like Ambrose, Augustine was later able to reconcile external language and internal perception, but only near the end of his long journey toward complete conversion. Augustine's final conversion involved the reading of a passage from the Bible. He read one sentence and did not need to read any more because it was as if “a light of relief from anxiety flooded [his] heart” and all his doubts were dispelled (Augustine 153). As in the case of Ambrose, it was Augustine's heart that was most affected by language. This marked a transformation in the way Augustine understood words as a means to reach God. When he first read the Bible, he could not penetrate deeply into the meaning of the text and failed to understand God from it. This caused a lot of doubt in Augustine as he tried to find a different way to understand the Bible. After a long intellectual journey, Augustine was finally able to turn to God because he learned that he needed to return within himself and see with the eyes of his soul rather than with his physical eyes (Augustine 123). Understanding God as a transcendent light that cannot be perceived by the bodily senses is what allowed him to read the Bible passage in the garden and experience his final conversion. Since God cannot be experienced through any of the bodily senses, He must be reached through internal means of the heart, mind, and soul. The internal perception necessary to understand the meaning of language must also involve self-knowledge. The garden scene constitutes a pivotal moment in Augustine's journey. Yet it was the child's singing and the short passage from the Bible, both involving the use of language, that brought about his eventual conversion. Previously, language had caused Augustine to drift away from God, but throughout his journey he was able to learn more about himself. Just before reading the biblical passage, Augustine wondered why,.