Miriam, a main character in the novel A Thousand Splendid Suns, suffers extreme physical, mental and sexual abuse from virtually every figure in authority over his life. Using Hosseini's book and Erik Erickon's Stages of Psychosocial Development, this essay will explore not only the acts of abuse but also their lasting effects on one's behavior and self-definition. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Miriam's mother, who gave birth to her and spent the most consecutive time with her, affected Miriam the most and established the harmful thinking and thought patterns. behavior that will haunt her for the rest of her life. According to Erikson, his mother damaged two major developmental milestones in his life. The first begins at eighteen months, when the child tries to gain self-confidence and begins to feel shame. On the first page of the story, Nana expresses her disdain, contempt and borderline hatred towards her own daughter by calling her a "clumsy little harami (bastard)"... "as if she were saying a bad word". (Hosseini, 4 years old) She then repeatedly told her daughter that being a harami was so horrible that people would consider her a non-human or shameful person who should hide from society. This instilled in Miriam an inferiority complex, a feeling of shame and anxiety about something she had no control over, her birth. Nana even states that it would have been better if Miriam's grandfather had killed them while Nana was pregnant so that Miriam would not have to bear the shame and Nana would not have to live with the bitterness and pain emotional caused by an illegitimate pregnancy. Nana's words become negative scripts that repeat in her head later in life, as she leaves Herat for her new home, making it difficult for her to interact with others in public or enjoy the time passed outside the house. The second stage occurs from the age of six. , as Miriam begins to establish her ego and a purpose, according to Erikson. However, Nana did not care about the existence of her child, her belief in her father and his stories, and her dream of joining Jahlil's family. Nana reinforces these attacks on Miriam's ego by repeatedly ignoring her father's stories and replacing them with a darker reality that aims to destroy her father's place in her heart. Additionally, she threatens her child's attempts at change, advancement, and purpose by threatening suicide if Miriam left her in pursuit of a life with Jahlil. However, when her threat of suicide turns into a morbid action, Miriam is left with an emotional scar and a sense of responsibility that traumatically affects her self-esteem, plunging her into a deep depression and permanently cementing in her mind the rampages of violence from his mother. After all, it would be difficult to develop a sense of self, purpose, and ego if you believed that your family thought you were a "pokeroot, mugworm"..."and you weren't even born yet" . Even if Nana was extremely violent, Jahlil's lies, his childish disregard for his daughter's physical and emotional well-being, and his lack of ownership and pride in his own daughter would prove truly detrimental to growth and development. emotional from Miriam. According to Erikson, Jahlil is guilty of damaging two different stages of Miriam's life: the confusion of identity and roles and intimacy and solidarity. Despite the fact that Jahlil only visited her once aweek, Miriam's identity revolved around being her father's child and regaining her rightful place in her father's house. She even created a rock game to allow her to visually represent everyone's place in her father's heart, so she could physically place herself with them. Through Jahlil's stories, Miriam believed that he had once taken her somewhere spectacular and treated her with love, pride, and belonging; therefore, this fueled her belief that she would regain her place in her family and heart. However, by refusing to see Miriam when she came to visit him and allowing her to sleep outside like a dog, he broke her heart and her self-esteem. Disregarding her emotions and physical safety, he shattered her identity as a beloved daughter or welcomed member of his family. This allowed Nana's abusive labels and Miriam's representations of existence to take root and form her new sense of self. Thus, Miriam learned to define herself by the abusive statements of others. On a deeper level, Jahlil's betrayal and lies forever spoil Miriam's ability to experience intimacy and trust with men. On several occasions, Jahlil makes promises he did not intend to keep. Although the lies are intended to boost her daughter's morale and gain favor with her, their inaction proves detrimental to her self-esteem, as promises made to her legitimate children are kept. She had adhered to his illusions and his lies; therefore, she wondered how she could trust a man's kindness or words again. As a result, she hides from Rasheed for the first small part of their marriage, avoiding contact as much as possible. Moreover, she gave her father all the trust and love in her heart; therefore, when he married her to an abusive man against her will and without any consideration for her feelings or well-being, he broke her ability to freely give this type of intimate love to others. This immortalizes her mother's threat that men are cold, dangerous and cannot be trusted, thus causing Miriam much anxiety throughout her life. It could even be argued that she loses the ability to love herself, after her mother shows continued contempt towards her and her father shows a lack of respect for her well-being. We could therefore easily see how she comes to distrust her own thoughts and her self-esteem. . Perhaps this is why she finally agrees to marry Rasheed and doesn't run away despite his horrible acts of abuse. Resheed was the most disappointing and abusive person in Miriam's life, as his abuse was sexual, mental, and definitely physical. Early in their marriage, Miriam was cautious and suspicious. But through his kindness and patience, Resheed earned Miriam's trust, respect and admiration. However, during the first test of honor, Miriam's miscarriage, he abandoned all pretenses and revealed himself as a truly violent man whose behavior spirals out of control. He is the second man in Miriam's life who spoke of kindness and made big promises but ultimately showed her only pain and heartbreak. Because she was still struggling with Erikson's intimacy stage, she was constantly trying to make excuses for his behavior and was constantly trying to please him. Unfortunately, his efforts result in horrific acts of violence, such as making him chew rocks until his teeth break and bleed or simply telling him how unhappy he was with his meal and his life>